Toyosi Etim-Effiong 
Let’s talk about it.
There’s a lot of influencing going on. Everyone seems to be selling something; a lifestyle, a product, a belief, a “standard”… and because it looks good, sounds good, or is packaged well, many of us buy into it without thinking twice. But not everything that glitters is gold. Sometimes sour milk is packaged in the trendiest carton; we get pulled in by the container and never take time to verify the content.
Influence without integrity is dangerous so the real question to ask is this: when you follow someone, do you ever stop to ask, “Where are they leading me?”
Everyone you follow is taking you somewhere. Either into a way of thinking, a way of spending, a way of living and without being intentional, you may find yourself adopting values and habits that have nothing to do with who you are, simply because they came in attractive packaging.
It’s interesting how many of us have reduced ourselves to chronic followers. Scroll. Like. Share. Copy. Buy. Repeat, when we were ALL created to lead in different spheres and with different gifts. We follow without asking, “What am I doing with my own leadership?”
Refusing to be all you were created to be, including leading is self-betrayal. Letting someone else’s voice drown out yours is self-betrayal but understand that following isn’t the problem; following blindly is and this is why filters are important.
We’ve already established that everyone is selling something but do we pause to test what we’re consuming against our values and vision? Do we even KNOW our values and vision? Or are we just letting everything in because it’s trending? Without guardrails, we’re not just consuming content; we’re consuming identities and lifestyles that may not even fit us.
Sometimes, the wisest thing we can do is step away. There was a time when I unfollowed all but one person on Instagram, Arianna Huffington. Hers was the only voice I connected with at that point after suffering a loss that shook me to my core. I needed to reassess who I was, what my values were, what I stood for, what I believed, and the noise of everyone else’s reels and opinions wasn’t helping, so I cut it all off. It was uncomfortable at first, but it gave me the space to align with my own values and figure out who I was outside the endless influence of socials.
You don’t have to wait until you suffer a loss to declutter and realign. You can choose right now to pause, review who you’re following, and decide who actually adds value to your life and if nobody fits, unfollow and start afresh.
Again, please don’t buy into someone’s standards simply because they’ve packaged them with glitter, or matte wrappers (for those who don’t like glitter). Don’t mistake glamour for substance. Don’t buy a bad product because the box is pretty. Ask yourself, what are they really selling me? Where does following them lead? Does this align with who I am and who I want to be? And then flip the mirror and ask yourself as well, who is following me, and where am I leading them?
Influence isn’t neutral. Influence always leads somewhere, which means the issue isn’t just who you’re following, but also how you’re leading. What are people learning from your words, your work, your life? True influence is about trust, not trends and about direction, not decoration. If integrity isn’t there, no matter how glamorous it looks, it will eventually collapse. So before you hit “follow” again, pause, think, filter and remember: you weren’t created to just follow, you were created to lead.
What do you think? Let’s talk about it.
Toyosi Etim-Effiong is a distinguished media executive who is bridging the gap between Nollywood and the global film and TV industry. With over 10 years of multifaceted experience in the media industry, she possesses the vital exposure and skills needed to drive media-related and experiential projects. She is also the founder and CEO of That Good Media, a media solutions company with a talent management as well as an international partnerships division.