Wola Joseph-Condotti 
In today’s workplace, there is an ongoing refrain urging us to “bring our whole selves to work.” At face value, this sounds progressive, even liberating. But as a leader, I have come to learn that this well-intentioned phrase can be more complex than it appears. In truth, what our teams need is not our whole self, with all its unfiltered emotions, personal entanglements, and off-duty impulses, but rather, our best self.
Let me explain.
Leadership is not simply about occupying a title or chairing meetings. It is about being a compass in times of change, a stabiliser in moments of turbulence, and a consistent presence when people around us are navigating uncertainty. In those moments, I have found that bringing my best self-anchored in values, tempered in tone, and focused on purpose, is far more valuable to those I lead than bringing every part of my personal life into the professional sphere.
That is not to say I wall off who I am. I bring my faith to work, because it grounds my decision-making. I draw from my family life, because it keeps me empathetic and aware of the different pressures people face beyond office walls. But I am mindful of what I share, how I show up, and what impact that presence has on my colleagues.
Debbie Lovich, in her insightful article “Why Leaders Should Bring Their Best Self-Not Their Whole Self-to Work,” puts it well: authenticity is not about radical transparency; it is about consistent behaviour grounded in integrity. The best leaders do not over-index on self-expression; rather, they curate their presence with purpose.
We live in a world where the lines between personal and professional life are increasingly blurred. Remote work, always -on messaging platforms, and social media have contributed to that. Yet, good leadership requires restraint and intentionality. In a professional setting, our teams need leaders who can rise above the noise, not amplify it.
This does not mean being robotic or emotionally distant. In fact, some of the most effective leaders I know are those who lead with warmth, humour, and heart. But they do so with discretion. They know when to be vulnerable and when to draw strength. They know when a story from their personal life can drive a point home, and when it might distract from the mission.
Over the years, I have also learnt that people look to leaders not just for inspiration, but for stability. When leaders bring every raw emotion to work, it can destabilise teams, confuse priorities, or shift focus away from the collective goal. A great leader shows up with clarity, not chaos.
There is a part of Lovich’s article that especially resonated with me: “When leaders bring their best selves to work, they create a culture where others feel safe, supported, and motivated to do the same.” I have seen this play out time and again. The tone we set as leaders cascades. If we are thoughtful, others become thoughtful. If we are accountable, others follow suit. If we are careless, the culture becomes disjointed.
This is not just about professionalism. It’s about stewardship.
I often remind myself: leadership is a trust. Our presence in the room should elevate it. Our words should empower, not overshadow. Our choices should reflect vision, not venting.
Yes, we are all human. And yes, we will have off days. But the call to leadership asks something more of us. It asks us to rise.
So, rather than strive to bring your whole self to work, ask instead: What version of myself best serves the people I lead today? That is the self, worth bringing in, again and again.
Because at the end of the day, leadership is not about being fully seen, it is about being fully useful.