Toyosi Etim-Effiong 
You know that saying, “it takes a village?” Somewhere along the way, it feels like we moved far from that idea.
Not so long ago, it wasn’t strange for family members to live on the same street or a few minutes away. Friends too. People bought land close together, built side-by-side, and raised their children like one big family. If an auntie needed something, she wouldn’t call, she’d walk over. There was comfort in that. Safety in that. Help was literally next door.
Now, people are moving further away from loved ones chasing jobs, bigger houses, or just “space.” Privacy has become the prize, and proximity feels old-fashioned. But in chasing independence, I think we’ve lost something important.
When a friend told me she was looking for property in my estate, I was… unsettled. Why here? There were so many other estates. We were already close and the visits and phone calls seemed fine to me. I didn’t want to feel watched, and I value my privacy. While she was excited, I quietly wasn’t sure it was a good idea.
Fast forward to now, and I can say without hesitation: it’s one of the best things that happened to both of us. Our daughters, besties before now, now play together almost every day and have sleepovers without us having to over-plan.
Her mum has stepped into my children’s lives in such a beautiful way, being “grandma” from time to time, which is a huge blessing since I lost my own mum. We share resources naturally, from one household handling school runs when the other is busy, to splitting bulk-bought foodstuff and even raiding each other’s closet. Life feels lighter because we’re in close proximity.
And now I get it: This is exactly how our parents and grandparents lived. They didn’t just live in houses, they lived in community. If a child misbehaved, two aunties and one uncle would correct them before they even got home. If you were sick, food appeared at your door without you asking. People showed up; no scheduling, no formality.
Now, with everyone scattered, small problems can become big emergencies. You spend more on childcare, delivery services, and security, when sometimes all you need is a trusted friend or family member nearby. And it’s not just about practical help, it’s deeply comforting to know that if anything happens, people you trust can get to you quickly.
When choosing where to live, it’s not just about the size of the house or fancy amenities. It’s also about who you’re close to. Imagine how much safer, lighter, and more joyful life could be if more of us were intentional about living near people we love and trust.
I believe the village model worked for a reason.
Proximity builds connection.
Connection builds safety, and sometimes, the thing you think will cramp your style might just change your life for the better.
Your village doesn’t have to be far away.
Sometimes, the best place for it is right next door.
What do you think? Let’s talk about it.
Toyosi Etim-Effiong is a distinguished media executive who is bridging the gap between Nollywood and the global film and TV industry. With over 10 years of multifaceted experience in the media industry, she possesses the vital exposure and skills needed to drive media-related and experiential projects. She is also the founder and CEO of That Good Media, a media solutions company with a talent management as well as an international partnerships division.