Wola Joseph-Condotti 
First and foremost, I wish every Nigerian a happy Independence celebration. I also pray that Nigeria shall enjoy the fruits of her labour and that labour of our heros past and present shall never be in vain.
Now, back to my topic for this week. From the moment women enter leadership spaces, we are taught, subtly and directly, to toughen up.
Do not cry. Do not crack. Do not be “too soft.” We learn to suppress our nurturing instincts. We silence our intuition. We overcompensate with hardness because we believe softness will be read as incompetence or weakness.
But here is what I have discovered: Softness is not the opposite of strength, it is often the very evidence of it.
Leading with a Double Burden
Women in leadership carry a double burden. We are expected to deliver like men but judged by different standards. If we are assertive, we are too aggressive. If we are compassionate, we are too emotional. So we overcorrect. We hide our hearts, lead from logic alone, and build walls around our personalities, all to be taken seriously. But the cost is high. It is not just emotional. It is spiritual. Because leadership that severs the soul cannot be sustained.
Grace Is Not Weakness
Grace does not mean avoiding hard conversations. It means having them with wisdom. Grace does not mean tolerating mediocrity. It means correcting with dignity. Grace does not mean stepping back from power. It means knowing how to hold it with clean hands and a steady heart.
I have learnt that grace-filled leadership is often the most powerful kind. Not because it shouts, but because it listens. Not because it dominates, but because it discerns.
Jesus Led This Way
Jesus, the ultimate leader, modelled a leadership style that confounded the world’s expectations.
He washed feet. He welcomed children. He wept at a friend’s grave. He called out injustice, but He did so with deep compassion.
He was gentle, but never weak.
Powerful, but never oppressive.
Direct, but never demeaning.
As women called to lead in today’s world, we can walk in this same balance: combining grit with grace, strategy with spirit, excellence with empathy.
Emotional Intelligence Is Executive Currency
The modern workplace is evolving. Today’s most effective leaders are not the loudest or the hardest. They are emotionally intelligent, self-aware, and grounded.
They know when to push, and when to pause. When to confront, and when to comfort. When to lead from the front, and when to empower from behind.
And guess what? These are strengths women often possess in abundance.
So instead of burying them, we must own them. Develop them. Lead with them.
Final Thoughts
You do not have to become someone else to be successful.
You do not have to abandon kindness to be competent.
You do not have to choose between results and relationships.
There is power in your grace.
There is wisdom in your softness.
There is strength in your spirit.
So the next time the world asks you to harden to fit in, choose instead to lead from a place of holy confidence.
Because when women lead with grace, the entire room shifts.
Wola Joseph-Condotti is the Group Managing Director/CEO of West Power & Gas Limited. A Harvard-trained lawyer and passionate advocate for faith-driven leadership, gender equity, and energy transition in Africa, she writes from the intersection of power, purpose, and personal growth.