Dr. Maymunah Yusuf Kadiri 
We’ve turned self‑care into an aesthetic. Bubble baths. Spa days. Candles that smell like calm. Pretty, yes, but temporary.
What happens when the candles burn out, the bathwater drains, and real life knocks again?
True self‑care isn’t about escape. It’s about endurance. It’s not how you retreat from life; it’s how you rebuild it from within.
The Myth of the Bubble Bath
Somewhere along the way, we confused comfort with care.
We started treating self‑care as a luxury, something to squeeze in between exhaustion and deadlines. But self‑care was never meant to be decorative, it was meant to be disciplinary.
Think of it this way: You don’t brush your teeth once a week and expect your dentist to applaud. You do it daily because maintenance prevents decay. The same applies to your mental, emotional, and physical health.
Neglecting your well‑being and expecting one Saturday of pampering to fix it is like trying to water a dead plant, too late, too little, too superficial.
Real Self‑Care Is Not Soft — It’s Strong
Real self‑care is gritty. It’s the version that rarely makes it to social media.
It’s choosing to sleep instead of scrolling.
It’s having the hard conversation instead of bottling it up.
It’s drinking water when your body screams for caffeine.
It’s walking away from chaos, even when it calls your name.
This kind of care doesn’t look glamorous, but it’s what keeps you grounded when everything else is spinning. It’s brushing your emotional teeth every single day.
For the Body, Mind, and Soul
Self‑care is three‑dimensional, body, mind, and soul. You can’t nourish one and starve the others.
For the body: Rest before your body forces you to. Move not to punish it, but to thank it for carrying you through life. Eat foods that sustain you, not drain you. Hydrate like your peace depends on it — because it does.
For the mind: Set boundaries that protect your sanity. Unplug without guilt. Journal your emotions before they turn into explosions. Practice mindfulness not because it’s trendy, but because presence is power.
For the soul: Laugh loudly. Sit under a sunset. Pray. Listen to music that reminds you who you were before the world told you who to be. Call that one person who feels like home.
When you tend to all three, body, mind, and soul — you don’t just survive life. You savor it.
How to Make Self‑Care Stick
The hardest part isn’t knowing what to do. It’s doing it consistently. Self‑care is a habit, not a holiday. Here’s how to make it last:
1. Start Small. Don’t try to change your life in one weekend. Start with one intentional act — a morning stretch, a quiet cup of tea, or a few deep breaths before bed. Small wins create big momentum.
2. Listen to Your Body. Fatigue is not laziness; it’s a message. Headaches, irritability, burnout, all are signals that your body and mind are begging for balance. Listen before they start shouting.
3. Anchor Your Habits. Pair new habits with existing ones. Reflect on gratitude while brushing your teeth. Breathe deeply when you close your laptop. Let care become second nature.
4. Pursue Balance, Not Perfection. You will miss days. You’ll forget sometimes. That’s okay. Self‑care is not a checklist — it’s a conversation. Keep showing up.
5. Add Joy. Don’t turn self‑care into another task. Add something that makes you come alive, dance, sing, laugh, paint, rest. Joy is medicine too.
The Preservation Mindset
When you redefine self‑care as a lifestyle, everything shifts. It stops being a reaction to burnout and becomes the foundation that prevents it.
It’s what strengthens your relationships, fuels your creativity, and stabilises your emotions. It’s what allows you to pour into others without emptying yourself.
So yes, take the bubble bath. Eat the shawarma. Book the massage. But remember, those are surface-level sparkles. The real work of self‑care happens in the unseen hours, in the quiet decisions no one applauds.
Self‑care isn’t self‑indulgence. It’s self‑preservation. It’s how you build a life that doesn’t need constant escaping.
Because the goal isn’t just to look rested, it’s to feel restored. And that happens not in one perfect day, but in a thousand tiny choices that say, every single morning:
“I will not abandon myself today.”
Dr. MAYMUNAH YUSUF KADIRI (aka DR. MAY) popularly referred to as “The Celebrity Shrink,” is a multiple award winning Mental Health Physician, Advocate & Coach. She is the convener of “The Mental Health Conference” and the Medical Director and Psychiatrist-In-Chief at Pinnacle Medical Services, Dr. Kadiri is a dynamic Consultant Neuro-Psychiatrist and a Fellow of the National Post Graduate Medical College of Nigeria (FMCPsych) with almost 20 years’ experience as a practicing Physician.