You are Over-mentored and Under-sponsored

Let me say something that might not sit well with everyone, but it is the truth.

Mentorship on its own is not going to get you the job.

I have watched too many brilliant women, mentored to the hilt, show up to every fireside chat, fill notebook after notebook with advice from senior leaders, and still find themselves three years later pretty much where they started. Not because the mentorship was bad. A lot of it was excellent. It just was never going to do the thing they actually needed doing.

What they needed was a sponsor. And nobody ever sat them down and explained the difference.

The Quiet Difference Nobody Names

A mentor talks to you. A sponsor talks about you. A mentor gives you advice. A sponsor gives you access. A mentor will meet you for coffee and walk you through how to survive office politics. A sponsor will sit in a room you are not even invited to and say, “Put her name on that shortlist.”

Both of these matter. But they are not the same thing, and in the careers of most women I know, they turn up in very different quantities.

We are over-mentored and under-sponsored. And honestly, most of us did not even notice it was happening.

Why This Matters More for Women

When men move up, they very often move up because somebody, usually another man, bet on them in a room they could not see. That is sponsorship. It is quiet. It is decisive. It is how power has always moved.

When women go looking for that same lift, what we tend to get handed instead is mentorship. “Let me give you some advice.” “Let me share my journey.” Generous. Genuine. But not the same thing at all as somebody spending their own capital to move yours forward.

There is a reason for the gap, and it is worth naming. Sponsorship is risky. When a senior leader puts your name forward, they are staking their credibility on you. So people tend to sponsor those they trust, and trust, in most institutions, has historically flowed along lines of familiarity. Which, until fairly recently, was rarely kind to women.

This is not an accusation. It is a diagnosis.

The Honest Bit About Mentorship

While I am being honest, a lot of what we call mentorship is not really mentorship at all. It is networking in a nicer outfit.

Real mentorship is uncomfortable. A mentor worth having will tell you why you did not get the promotion, even when it stings. They will push back on decisions you were rather pleased with. They will love you enough to disappoint you sometimes.

If your mentor only ever makes you feel good, they are not mentoring you. They are entertaining you.

The Honest Bit About Sponsorship

You cannot ask for sponsorship the way you can ask for mentorship.

You can walk up to somebody and ask them to mentor you. That is fair game. What you cannot do is walk up and ask somebody to spend their political capital on you. Sponsorship is earned. It is what happens when your work is so consistent, your character so steady, and your delivery so undeniable that somebody decides, entirely on their own, that your name is worth defending in your absence.

Two Honest Questions

If your career feels stuck right now, sit with these two questions.

Who is telling me the truth I do not want to hear? That is your mentor.

Who is saying my name when I am not in the room? That is your sponsor.

If the first list is empty, you are being flattered, not mentored. If the second is empty, you are visible to your peers but invisible to your decision-makers. And no amount of hard work, without that second list, is going to close the gap on its own.

The Sponsor You Must Also Become

Here is the part nobody really wants to sit with.

If you have arrived, you are now somebody else’s potential sponsor. And the real test of your leadership is not how many mentees you can list off. It is how many names you have put forward, in rooms they were not in, at moments when it actually cost you something to do it.

Mentorship is generous. Sponsorship is sacrificial. Those are not the same thing.

A Word From Scripture

When Barnabas first met Paul, the early church was suspicious of him, and honestly, they had reason to be. His reputation preceded him, and not in the way he needed it to.

Acts 9:27 tells us that Barnabas “took him, brought him to the apostles, and declared to them” who Paul really was. He did not mentor Paul from a safe distance. He vouched for him. He used his own credibility to open a door that was not yet ready to open.

Without Barnabas, there may well have been no Apostle Paul as we know him. That, to me, is sponsorship. Costly, courageous, and quietly world-changing.

Final Thoughts

Find mentors who will tell you the truth. Earn sponsors who will tell others the truth about you.

And when your turn comes, and it will, do not just hand out advice. Spend your capital. Put names forward. Stand in rooms and say the things that cost you something to say.

Because the women coming behind us do not just need more wisdom.

They need somebody willing to actually risk something for them.

About Author

Wola Joseph-Condotti

Wola Joseph-Condotti is the CEO of Eko Electricity Distribution Company (EKEDC). She is a Harvard-trained lawyer and passionate advocate for faith-driven leadership, gender equity, and energy transition in Africa. She writes from the intersection of power, purpose, and personal growth.