Wola Joseph-Condotti 
From a young age, many women are subtly taught to seek permission before they act. To wait for affirmation. To double-check their worth. To soften their strength. We grow up asking:
“Is this okay?”
“Do I sound too confident?”
“Will they think I am too much?”
But here is the truth: leadership (especially at the highest levels) requires clarity, not constant applause. Conviction, not continuous consensus.
And yet, many brilliant women are stuck in a holding pattern (gifted, anointed, capable) but waiting for someone else to say, “You are allowed.”
That waiting room is dangerous. It can delay destinies. It can dim lights meant to shine.
When Validation Becomes a Trap
Validation in itself is not wrong. We all want to be seen, supported, and encouraged. The problem is when it becomes a condition for movement. When our obedience, ideas, and impact become contingent on applause or agreement.
I have seen incredibly competent women question their voice because they didn’t get immediate feedback. I have seen executives shrink in meetings, waiting for a nod before contributing. I have seen women stall on launching businesses, writing books, or taking bold decisions, not because they are not ready, but because they are not sure everyone will approve.
But leadership is not built on certainty from others. It is built on alignment with purpose and the courage to act even when the crowd is silent.
Biblical Leadership Was Rarely Popular
Consider the story of Deborah, the prophet and judge in Judges 4–5. She did not need validation from a king or committee. She heard from God, she led with authority, and she summoned generals to war. Her leadership was not timid. It was bold, spiritual, and effective.
Imagine if she had waited for cultural permission. Imagine if she had hesitated because “no one had done it before.” We may never have had 40 years of peace in Israel under her watch.
Leadership that shifts history often begins with someone willing to move before they are applauded.
How Approval Addiction Shows Up at Work
Let us be honest: approval addiction can hide behind the best professional habits.
Over-asking for feedback before making basic decisions. Waiting for praise before believing in your work. Needing a sponsor to co-sign every new idea. Avoiding hard conversations so you stay liked.
But executives are paid to lead, not please. Influence is not built by fitting in, it is built by standing firm.
What Spirit-Led Leadership Looks Like
As a woman of faith, I have learned to trust the inner conviction of the Holy Spirit more than external applause. There are moments where what God lays on your heart will make others uncomfortable. Do it anyway. There are decisions you must take that will not trend on social media. Make them anyway.
Because you answer to a higher boardroom. When God gives you a word, a vision, a strategy, you do not need a hundred likes to validate it. You need courage. And you need to remember who sent you.
Practical Ways to Lead Without Needing Permission
Practice solitude
Learn to affirm yourself in silence before the noise begins. Your clarity grows when it is not crowd-sourced.
Audit your hesitation
Ask: Am I waiting because I lack informationor because I am afraid of disapproval?
Lead small, then scale
Take one bold action per week without over-explaining. With time, your confidence muscles will strengthen.
Pray for holy courage
Not arrogance. Not recklessness. But the kind of quiet boldness that Esther had when she said, “If I perish, I perish.”
Final Thoughts
You do not need to be unliked to be impactful. But neither do you need to be liked to be obedient.
Let us raise a new generation of women who do not wait for permission to be excellent. Who do not apologize for their God-given voice. Who do not need to be endorsed before they step up and lead with wisdom, strength, and spirit.
Validation is beautiful. But obedience is powerful. And sometimes, the most sacred move you will ever make is the one you make without a round of applause.
Wola Joseph-Condotti is the Group Managing Director/CEO of West Power & Gas Limited. A Harvard-trained lawyer and passionate advocate for faith-driven leadership, gender equity, and energy transition in Africa, she writes from the intersection of power, purpose, and personal growth.