Zainab Aderounmu 
It doesn’t matter the age, class or social standing, most of the time, women anticipate some form of aggression just because she’s female.
The aggression could be overt or covert. It often comes in snide remarks like ‘Don’t go and marry. I don’t know what you’re still looking for’, or when a man says to a woman, ‘I have your type at home’. It could be a subtle comment like ‘I know how I deal with my women’ or a bold punch in the eye on a public bus — like the one I got last week.
Here’s what went down. I was on my way home from a full day of visiting my aunt who celebrated her birthday. I was happy and fulfilled that I got to spend the day with her so I paid zero attention to the men seated beside me. But when one of them stretched his arm around my cramped danfo seat and began touching my head, I must have made the “mistake” of speaking up. That was when his fist met my right eye. Shock numbed me at first, but when reality sank in, silence wasn’t on my to-do list.
The most heartbreaking part? No one on the bus stood up to him. Everyone kept asking me, the victim, to calm down. It wasn’t until a passerby soldier intervened that he begrudgingly apologised.
Their silence reminded me of how women are often asked to keep the peace in violent relationships, especially marriages, where she’s the victim. ‘Manage it, don’t let people say you don’t know how to keep a man’.
Someone may argue that it happened because I was on a public bus. That’s not true; I have a friend who was once harassed in her own car, and I’ve had multiple experiences with aggressive drivers on Indrive. In fact, the Lagos State Domestic Violence Agency reports that at 1 in every 4 women will experience sexual or domestic violence in their lifetime, and half of the women in many communities report having experienced physical violence because of their gender.
This week is Purple Week in Lagos State, dedicated to advocacy by the Lagos State Sexual and Domestic Violence Agency (LSDVA) to raise awareness and fight against gender-based violence. But advocacy must translate into action.
If you ever find yourself in a violent or threatening situation, here are a few steps to remember:
Put your safety first. Immediately, find the exit or move to a safe zone.
Reach out for help. Call a trusted friend, family or neighbor to help you. The Lagos State Domestic Violence Agency(LSDVA) has a toll free 24 hour emergency line that provides you with expert help (0800-033-3333).
Collect and preserve evidence. If you can, take pictures, videos, or avoid changing clothes or bathing if it included sexual assault.
Protect yourself legally. Reach out to organisations like LSDVA, Mirabel Centre in Lagos, or WARIF for professional help. In the long run, store emergency supplies in a safe place, plot your escape route and join support groups to heal and rebuild confidence.
Finally, it’s inhumane to ask women to endure violence, we must hold perpetrators accountable and speak up when we witness violence.
Zainab ADEROUNMU A. W. is a First Class graduate of English Language and the Overall Best Graduating Student from the Lagos State University, Lagos Nigeria. She’s a professional Master of Ceremonies, known as The Hijabi Compere , a public speaking coach and Communications Professional. She is currently a Youth advisor to the European Union where she doubles as the Spokesperson and Head of Communications & PR for the Youth Sounding Board.