Why Do People Hate Accountability? 

Zainab Aderounmu

July 28, 2026

Have you ever met someone who hates to take accountability for their actions? No matter how much you make them see their contribution to a consequence, they flat out refuse to accept it, and may even turn on you. I met a couple of such over the week, and I couldn’t have been more disappointed. But it begged the question, why do some people hate accountability? 

In the first instance, it was an owambe-styled primary school graduation party. The little tots were going on to begin their secondary education and the school management went all out. The parents of the graduating pupils showed up in their resplendent matching asoebi; white lace, glossy pink gele for the mothers and pink fila for the fathers.

I sat behind the cluster of seats cordoned off for the parents, excitedly watching the young Einsteins and Soyinkas on stage. When my ward appeared on stage for the Yoruba cultural dance, I raced to the stage to spray him some naira notes. By the time I returned to my seat, a young mother of one of the graduands, was in it. Oops! What to do? 

I gently whispered to her that she was in my seat. Clearly, she was late. Terribly so. I was prepared to find another seat to allow her, but her response changed my mind immediately! “Can’t you see I’m a mother of a graduand? I can’t stand up.” I was dazed. 

What!? I didn’t understand her attitude so I responded “No, you’re late, you’re in my seat and it isn’t okay to speak to me in that manner.” 

“Shut up!” She bellowed in response. Now, she obviously had gone too far with her behaviour and utterance. It took the intervention of a few ushers and her relocation to another seat to douse that altercation. 

She didn’t apologise nor did she accept her error. I seethed for hours after the exchange. Such arrogance! But then, I watched her from my seat, and realised she was actually ashamed. Beneath that bravado was a sense of shame. For coming late, I presumed, but she didn’t look like she was enjoying herself. 

On the second encounter, it was in a simple napep or tuk tuk, if you prefer. This lady, on my left, was having an argument with the driver about the fare. None of my business, so I didn’t interfere. But the woman on my right, began to advise her on what to do, and so in the process of listening, the lady started pressing into me. I turned to her, twisted my face slightly and tapped her lightly. 

Again, her response left me dazed. 

“You don’t have to be so rude about it,” she hollered.  

“Ehn,” I was genuinely confused. Where was her apologies? 

“Even if I’m disturbing you, you can say it politely without being rude,” she said again. 

“So you mean you can’t just independently be mindful of the next person?” I asked.

“You better not talk to me. With your cheap ass phone,” she responded.

At this point I just ignored her. She was also clearly ashamed of her inability to pay the fare. But why insult me? 

People avoid accountability for a number of reasons. Clinical psychologist, Dr Bonnie Williams ranks safety as number one. It feels safer to protect one’s  ego and avoid judgment. 

Take the first woman for example, her body language indicated she was already conscious of her tardiness, and she didn’t want anyone else rubbing it in her face. Therefore, before that happened, she assumed the offensive, wrongfully so. 

Beyond that, refusing accountability may be a long-cultivated habit. If a child faced dire consequences for his/her actions, or had parents who never apologised for their wrong behaviour, the blame game may be the well-developed strategy to protect themselves from punishment. The issue is, they become full-grown problematic adults. 

Assuming responsibility is the adult, mature thing to do. However, telling adults what is right, from experience, doesn’t usually go well with them.  So I’d say, begin with yourself. Have you ever refused to accept a mistake you made? What was the underlying emotion? Was it shame, ego or fear? Was it really worth shifting the blame? What did you do about it?

Think about it. 

About Author

Zainab Aderounmu A. W.

Zainab ADEROUNMU A. W. is a First Class graduate of English Language and the Overall Best Graduating Student from the Lagos State University, Lagos Nigeria. She’s a professional Master of Ceremonies, known as The Hijabi Compere , a public speaking coach and Communications Professional. She is currently a Youth advisor to the European Union where she doubles as the Spokesperson and Head of Communications & PR for the Youth Sounding Board.