A Woman’s Place Is Wherever She Chooses

“A woman’s place is in the kitchen.”

We’ve all heard it. Sometimes tossed around as a joke. Sometimes said with full confidence, like it’s a timeless truth. But whether it’s delivered with laughter or with seriousness, the message is the same. It is loaded. It is limiting. It is the kind of sentence that has survived for centuries because it was designed to keep women small, predictable, and easy to control.

So let me say this clearly.

A woman’s place is wherever she chooses to be.

In the boardroom driving strategy and making decisions that shape economies.

In the courtroom advocating for justice, defending rights, and rewriting outcomes.

In the classroom nurturing the next generation and building minds that will lead tomorrow.

On the global stage influencing policy, changing systems, and amplifying voices that were once ignored.

And yes, if she chooses, in the kitchen too, creating nourishment and comfort for the people she loves.

The power is not in the location.

The power is in the freedom to choose.

That is what makes the statement “a woman’s place is in the kitchen” so dangerous. It is not really about the kitchen. It is about confinement. It is about deciding, on behalf of women, what their lives should look like. It is about reducing a full human being into a single role and calling it destiny.

When we reduce women to one space, we deny society the brilliance that comes from their full participation. We deny society innovation. We deny society leadership. We deny society transformation. Because women do not only bring competence. Women bring perspective.

And any society that tries to hide that power in one corner of life will eventually pay the price for what it suppressed.

I have spent decades working alongside phenomenal women. Women who are breaking ceilings quietly and loudly. Women who are building businesses, running organisations, leading teams, entering politics, shaping industries, and mentoring others behind them. Women who have refused to accept the limits placed on them and have chosen, instead, to write their own stories.

Their place is in leadership.

Their place is in entrepreneurship.

Their place is in governance.

Their place is in every arena where impact is made.

Because a woman’s place is not where tradition confines her. A woman’s place is everywhere futures are shaped and decisions are made.

But here is what I also know, and it is important to say this with honesty. Many women are not held back by lack of intelligence or skill. Many are held back by subtle conditioning. The quiet voice that says, “Don’t be too loud.” “Don’t be too ambitious.” “Don’t intimidate people.” “Don’t outshine your husband.” “Don’t neglect the home.” “Don’t put yourself first.”

Some women hear this externally, from family, culture, colleagues, or society.

Others hear it internally, because it has lived in them for too long.

And that is why rewriting this script matters. Not only for individual women, but for our daughters, our sons, our workplaces, and our communities.

So what are the key lessons here?

The first is that choice is power. You are not truly empowered if your life is shaped by fear of criticism or cultural expectations.

The second is that womanhood is not a limitation, it is a full spectrum. We need to stop measuring women by one narrow definition. Some women will choose home-focused seasons. Some will choose career-focused seasons. Some will choose both, with support systems. Some will build empires. Some will build families. Many will do all of the above at different times. None of these choices make a woman less valuable. What matters is that it is her choice.

The third is that society benefits when women thrive. Women in leadership lead differently, not always, but often with a wider view of impact. When women sit at decision tables, conversations expand.

Now let’s make this practical. How do you own your space and succeed, even when outdated expectations are loud?

Start by defining your own version of success. Not your auntie’s version. Not society’s version. Yours. What do you want your life to look like? What matters most to you in this season? What do you want to build? When your definition is clear, external opinions become less powerful.

Next, build competence and confidence together. Excellence strengthens your credibility, but confidence strengthens your presence. Learn your craft deeply. Deliver results. Speak with clarity. Ask for what you deserve. Then build support systems without guilt. No one builds a meaningful life alone.

Also, choose your circles wisely. Some people will never celebrate a woman’s growth. They will criticise your choices, question your confidence, and label your ambition as “too much.” Don’t argue with small minds. Find people who respect your vision. Find mentors who stretch you. Find communities that remind you that you belong in every room you enter.

Finally, speak up when it matters. Challenge stereotypes when you can, calmly and firmly. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say in response to “a woman’s place is in the kitchen” is this simple line: “A woman’s place is wherever she chooses.”

And if you are a woman reading this, let this be your reminder.

Take up your space.

Own your choices.

And never let an outdated script define a life that was meant to be expansive.

With over three decades of experience as a trailblazer in the legal profession, Chinyere Okorocha has established herself as a leading voice in law, leadership, and career growth for women. As a partner in one of the most prestigious law firms in the country, she has not only navigated the complexities of a competitive industry but has consistently broken barriers to become a sought-after leader, mentor, and advocate for women in the workplace.
A devoted wife and proud mother of three, her career development platform, Heels & Ladders, is dedicated to mentoring and guiding women who aspire to redefine success, achieve career mastery, and lead with purpose.